Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Calcio Comedy

For all you football fans out there.................hope you enjoy this one............

Calcio Comedy: 20 Things To Expect From Italy v England

It's Italy v England in the Champions League last 16 as Juventus take on Chelsea, Roma meet Arsenal and Inter play Manchester United. Here are 20 things to expect before, during or after the Anglo-Italian ties…

1) Cristiano Ronaldo says that he is better than Pele and Diego Maradona, and compares himself to God.

2) Jose Mourinho bangs on beforehand about how his Chelsea side were better than United, and that his record against Fergie is Won 6, Drawn 4, Lost 1.

3) Sir Alex Ferguson will use the words “No doubt about it” at least 100 times, while he will mention during an interview with SKY Italia about how good Luciano Spalletti’s wine is.

4) Wayne Rooney does a Zinedine Zidane and headbutts Marco Materazzi in the chest after the Italian snipes that he would “rather NOT have Rooney’s mum”.

5) Mourinho runs down the Old Trafford touchline to celebrate a last minute goal that puts Inter into the next round.

6) Ferguson engages in a furious touchline row with Mourinho over the award of a throw-in, and lobs his chewing gum onto the pitch in disgust.

7) Manchester United fans sing “same old I-Ti’s, always cheating”, even though Inter don’t have a single Italian in their team.

8) Claudio Ranieri laughs hysterically during both of his pre-match interviews in the tie against former club Chelsea.

9) Ranieri gets a better reception at Stamford Bridge from the Chelsea fans than Luiz Felipe Scolari.

10) English commentators tut-tut about Italian diving shortly before Didier Drogba goes down like he's caught the plague.

11) Momo Sissoko to have the best pass completion rate...for Chelsea. “Camoranesi... Nedved... Del Piero, back to Nedved, now Sissoko, oh he's played it straight to Deco!! Deco, Lampaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard GOAL! Chelsea lead!"

12) Lampard is credited with the goal by UEFA, despite the fact the ball took eight deflections, and travelled to and from Timbuktu, on its way into the net.

13) Phil Thompson, Graeme Souness, and a number of other SKY Sports pundits bash the Italian league at every opportunity, and label it an “old, slow, retirement home”, while repeatedly championing the Premier League as the “best league in the world”.

14) Souness says he would never have the over-rated Francesco Totti or Zlatan Ibrahimovic in his team (if he was a manager).

15) Italian media pundits jealously declare that the only reason the Premier League is so strong is because of foreign owners, managers and players.

16) In the build-up to Arsenal-Roma, both will be described as attractive, passing sides who play good football, but whoever loses the tie will be condemned as being 'in crisis.'

17) There will be serious crowd trouble inside and outside the Stadio Olimpico. English fans smash up a number of local bars. Italian fans attack their adversaries while riding around on mopeds.

18) The English media blame 19th century Italian policing for the trouble.

19) The Italian media blame 19-times over-the-drink-limit English fans for the trouble.

And Finally…

20) Whichever country comes out on top in the three-round contest will declare that they have the best league in the world.
Quitters Never Win,
Winners Never Quit.

But those who have never Won,
Are those who have never Quit.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Another interesting and relevant one............


Here is an interesting article I found.


Everheard of jinxes? Of course you have. The great thing is to be a part of the jinx, a sufferer or at least a member of the group that suffers. It wasn't really a jinx, just a way for the outlet of dissappointment and frustration inside every Loyolite after every TCS IT Wiz.

It was almost incomprehensible. How could Jayachandran and Jian not win?They,that dynamic duo with brains enough for four, were constantly outwitted and relegated to second place (ugh!!).
How could Justin Thomas and Gautam Das fail? Once again second place seemed and was their fate. Why did Arun TP finish (you guessed right) second. All of them, the best quizzers in Trivandrum in their times, in case of the first two, the best (or one of the best) in India. They were beaten by lesser fancied opponents, opponents whom these enterprising Loyolites would have creamed elsewhere.

One can be forgiven for thinking that some jinx has been cast on our school. The school with a rather good quizzing history, has not since produced quizzers of the calibre of the above mentioned names. But still modest quizzers have managed to bring the school into the limelight - a journey capped by winning the TCS IT Wiz in 2008. Meet one of that pair which finally won- yeah, its me.

A long journey when I continously witnessed my seniors finish second, cheering wildly for every right answer they gave and leaving for home shaking my head. The journey almost reached its climax when we qualified to the finals in 2007,only to put up what may be the school's worst performance yet, a third place. But finally we reached the climax, and for the first time since the inception of the quiz, Loyola were crowned champions.

Its been a fantastic journey- from standard eight when we came, naive and got just four out of 20 in the prelims. That was the toughest prelims many faced and many quit after that. We had the sense to hang on and in the end we showed that perseverence pays. From four out of twenty to getting19 out of 20 in our final year has been a fantastic journey. We persevered and had a fair bit of luck.

Finally winning the quiz on tie breakers itself was a great symbolic moment- five years ago, when I had come for my first TCS quiz, Loyola were defeated in tie breakers. Despite many hiccups, despite being awed by the moment, despite history,despite many messups, despite missing lots of simple answers,despite an unconvincing perforance we managed to win. A win I sincerely believe that our school has a right to have. We have given our school something nobody else has. I am proud of it. I thank all my seniors who inspired me, all whose losses I was able to avenge.

Thank You Loyola for that one opportunity.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

TCS Prelims questions.

1) Name the industry standard that allows computers to represent text in most of the world's writing systems. Ans: Unicode.
2) Expand CMM.
Ans: Capability Maturity Model.
3)Name the term derived from Greek mythology for a malicious pprogram that appears harmless.
Ans: Trojan.
4) Identify the logo.
Ans: Kaspersky.
5) Simple one. What do you call unsolicited bulk email?
Ans: Spam.
6) What do you call the fraudulent acquisition of passwords and credit card details over the internet?
Ans: Phishing.
7) What do you call the fraudulent acquisition of passwords and credit card details over the telephone?
8) Identify the bloke.
Ans: Som Mittal.

9) Which was the first city in India to be completely wi-fi enabled?
10)Name the only Indian to be awarded the Turing Prize.
Ans: Raj Reddy.
11) Satyanarayan Gangaram born in Titlagarh, Orissa, is an inventor, entrepreneur and policymaker. widely considered to have been responsible for India's communications revolution . He is the Chairman of World-Tel Limited, an International Telecommunication Union (ITU) initiative. He holds many key technology patents, has been involved in several startups, and lectures extensively around the world on management, governance and the implications of communications and information technology. How do we know him better?

Ans: Sam Pitroda.
12) Identify the game.
Ans:Space Invaders .
13)Another simple one. The smallest piece or part of an image is called__________?
Ans: Pixel.
14) New touchscreen version of the Blackberry is called_________?
Ans: Blackberry Thunder.
15) What or who is "BlogHer"?
Ans: Female Blogger.
16) They asked the question after erasing the name. Anyway, identify the software.
Ans: Panda Antivirus.
17) Which company owns
18) Who owns Lexico?
Ans: Yahoo!.
19) DoubleClick is a company that develops and provides Internet ad serving services. Its clients include agencies, marketers (Universal McCann Interactive, AKQA etc.) and publishers who service customers like Microsoft, General Motors, Coca-Cola, Motorola, L'Oréal, Palm, Inc., Visa USA, Nike, Carlsberg among others. Simple question. Who owns DoubleClick?

Ans: Google.
20) What did this terrific trio make?
Ans: Youtube.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

My Last Assembly speech!!!!

This was my last assembly speech in Loyola....its basically Chetan Bhagat's speech at Symbiosis, I just added a few lines here and there and made it somewhat relevant to school.................

Respected Father Principal, teachers, and my dear friends,good morning to all. Last week, one of my classmates, Abin, inspired us all to speak in the assembly.As a result, I am here. Hats off to him.

This day is about you. You, who have come to this school, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. There are few periods in human life when one is truly happy. Though many of you may not agree with me now, school life is one of them. When you get ready for school, you feel a tingling in your stomach. What would be the day like, what would the teachers be like, who will win the football game at lunch break...... there is so much to be curious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.

Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. The little kids in UKG have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from their teacher gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for birthday party – several months in advance – just for the day they will cut their own birthday cake.

When I see teenagers like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected, aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena Kapoor in the first half of Jab We Met vs the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save the spark?

Imagine the spark to be a lamp’s flame. The first aspect is nurturing - to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against storms.

To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible for you. It isn’t any external measure - a certain cost to company pay package, a particular car or house.

Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement. But it isn’t the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr. Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won’t be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday? They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive Just getting better from current levels feels good. If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice, your football will get better. You may also know that you cannot become a Pele or a Maradona yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.

Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of nature’s design. Are you? Goals will help you do that. I must add, don’t just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.

There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.

You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those races in nursery school, where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.

One last thing about nurturing the spark , I know many of you will disagree with me here,- don’t take life seriously. Don’t be serious, be sincere. Whether its your studies, your relationships or any of your goals. I get thousands of opinions on my way of living everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism. If I take it all seriously, how will I live? Or rather, how will I live? Suppose one of our celebrities in society took up the newspaper one day and read all the news about him or her and then took it all seriously, then how will he or she live? Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It’s ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.

I’ve told you three things - reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose.

Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don’t go as planned or if you face failure. Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger. What did this failure teach me? is the question you will need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades – how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you. But it’s life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember - if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And that’s where you want to be.

Disappointment’ s cousin is Frustration, the second storm. Have you ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don’t know if you chose the right goal. Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with it? Seek a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result. Even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life - friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously. There will be days when you walk back fromschool, brimming with disappoinment, your face long, and fling yourself into your bed. But remember, there will be days when you come home, your head held high and look into the mirror to see championship personified.

Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces, pedigree find it easier to make it – not just in Bollywood, but everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than you. In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty damm lucky by Indian standards. Let’s be grateful for what we have and get the strength to accept what we don’t. Don’t let unfairness kill your spark.

Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is Isolation. As you grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict as your goals may not match with others. And you may drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love yourself first, and then others.

There you go. I’ve told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.

I hope that ten years later as well, your eyes will shine the same way as they do today. That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only through school, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And I hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really need it now more than any moment in history. And there is something cool about saying - I come from the land of a billion sparks. And there is serious pride when I say, I hail from an institution of over 5000 ignited minds.

Thank You.