Friday, June 25, 2010

The Marathon Match

There is a tide in the affairs of men, says Old Bill, which when taken leads to great fortune. The thing is to take the tide at the highest point. You will be in the depths if you miss that boat. Well, I missed that chance when Robert Green made a howler against the States at the World Cup. But I intent to park my own ruddy ass on that boat this time if no one else does. Life has given me a second chance in the form of the Isner vs Mahut match. Another ideal opportunity to crack lame jokes at those gentlemen's expense.

1. Samuel Beckett sued the All England lawn Tennis and Croquet club for plagiarising his story line and enacting it at Court 18.

2. The Pope decrees that Matthew 24:35 be amended to include the Isner vs Mahut match.

3. Year 2060 A.D- My grandkids come up to me and ask "did you have the Isner vs Mahut match even when you were a kid?".

4. Federer and Nadal played in an epic 6 hour U.S Open final but nobody watched because everyone was still at the Isner vs Mahut match.

5. Isner and Mahut played for so long that their apparel contracts ran out and they had to strip.

6. Isner and Mahut played for so long that Court 18 at Wimbledon is now a clay court.

7. Isner and Mahut played for so long that Mahut grew an inch.

8. The French celebrated Mahut's match joyously because his run at the Wimbledon lasted for more time than the French football team's run at the World Cup.

9. Aliens invading the earth in circa 2178 retreated back to their planets cautiously when they discovered that earthlings had already discovered time warp.

10. Mahut ran around for 11 hours but still could not get a 69.


Added on June 27.

John Isner was thrashed 6-0 6-3 6-2 by an unseeded Thiemo de Bakker in the second round. People all around the court wanted to know whether it was the shortest match at any Grand Slam.

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