The World Cup kicks off tomorrow and I'm all excited. I can barely sit. It is like I have ants in my pants. So, I was thinking. What will happen in this one month period starting tomorrow? That spark of thought turned in to a wild fire, and before I knew it, I had a pen and some paper and was making a list. Here goes.
1. The Bafana Bafana, aided by ten thousand vuvuzelas and some really bad refereeing decisions, makes the round of 16.
2. England go out in the quarterfinals AGAIN!!! You guessed it, penalties!!!
3. Cesc Fabregas, after spending a lot of time with half the Barcelona squad, a.k.a Spain national team, decides to move to the Catalan club. He says that it is his dream come alive and in his heart he has always been a Barcelona player. Especially when he was 16.
4. Maradona blasts Messi and Milito for "being useless in training", while Javier Pastore and Ariel Grace are said to be the real strengths of the team. This follows a 6-0 victory in which Messi and Milito scored three each.
5. Messi is proclaimed as God by pundits and journos. Pele says people tend to exaggerate so much these days while Maradona continues abusing more journos. Incessant coughing, identified as an attempt to butt in to the conversation, is heard in the background. The cough is later traced to Ronaldo.
6. Rooney kicks five people in the balls, bad mouths the ref and drives his knee into some bloke's chest and thus gets sent off. The British media blames the opposite team's physio because he had got some dust into his eyes and closed that eye alone.
7. The Oranje play fantastic football again, beating the crap out of opposition until finally they go out in the quarterfinals, inexplicably losing, in all probability to some team like....South Africa!
8. North Korea demands that no one be allowed to watch any of their games as it is offensive to their culture and tradition. After some persuasion from FIFA, Jong agrees to let his team play if FIFA agrees to a plan he formulated. The plan is , on the previous day the same match is played in an empty stadium and N. Korea wins and the match is re-enactred pass by pass on match day.
9. Wayne Bridge is caught in a compromising situation with Toni Terry. He secretely arrived at South Africa in the garb of a North Korean team staff. He is reported to have quoted Matthew 7:12 in Pulp Fiction style before commencing activities with Toni.
10. A host of players would be raring to emulate Zidane's final act on a football pitch. Didier Drogba head butts Ronaldo after the Portugese star snipes that "he would rather NOT have Drogba's mom".
Enjoy the World Cup! They come only once in four years.